Wednesday 30 September 2009

#VHSMovieClub - Fuck 'Em Fastforward :-)

Put in video in and press play.

Noise fills the screen so you fast forward in the hope it was at the start of the tape - it never is.

Eject the tape to confirm your suspicion that the dick who gave it to you hadn't rewound it.

Tape goes back in. Press stop (essential to do this or it will automatically play, thus reducing the maximum rewind speed).

Press and hold rewind for a few seconds

Leave the room to do any number of lengthy tasks while the tape rewinds

Return in time to hear the tape rewind speed slow down

Walk up to the TV and hover over the play button in an attempt to divine when the movie as opposed to the tape begins

Fail at that

Watch trailers for films you love the look of as you skin up in preparation for the film, smug in the knowledge you had time to make a cup of tea and wash up as it rewound

The film is rarely great but she is often fit